Four Square provides a range of services to support people facing homelessness in Edinburgh. Our women’s refuge, Keymoves, supports 20 women who have been made homeless through domestic abuse or gender-based violence. On average, a woman will attempt to leave an abusive relationship eight times before she manages to do so successfully.
Our role at Keymoves is to support women who have left and come to safety in our refuge. But the stigma around not leaving persists. In this article, we explain why it is so difficult and dangerous and what you can do to support us to support women who have left.
“Why didn’t she just leave?”
This seemingly simple question, often seen within the media, uncovers a deep-rooted misunderstanding in society about the dynamics of domestic abuse. It wrongly implies that victims or survivors can simply walk away from complex, dangerous situations.
Our service manager for Keymoves explains:
“Just leaving is rarely an option. The women at Keymoves tell us that they remained with perpetrators because of a complex combination of psychological manipulation alongside emotional and financial attachment. After prolonged abuse, their confidence and independence are so eroded that they simply cannot see a way out.
“Beyond this, many face the very real threat of honour-based violence and deeply entrenched social pressures within their communities, making escape incredibly difficult.
“Women are ashamed of their situation. They are worried about being judged or blamed for their own situation. They worry about sextortion (intimate blackmail) and in same-sex couples, they may fear being ‘outed’ to family members and colleagues.
“On top of all of this, there is a recognised and worsening housing crisis. Women don’t know where to go or if there is anywhere to go.
"He used to trick me into a false sense of security, saying sorry and buying me gifts, saying it would never happen again, so I stayed, I felt I had nowhere else to go.”
Tailored Support at Keymoves
At Keymoves, we offer a safe and supportive environment when women manage to leave and we take time to understand the unique challenges each woman faces to offer tailored support, time to recover and help instil a sense of hope for the future.
Your support is crucial to sustaining our services. A regular contribution, no matter how small, makes a significant difference. Just a few pounds a month can help provide a safe bed and vital emotional and practical support.
“As I say my last goodbyes, I am left with nothing but gratitude for all of your help. My deepest gratitude to you all for helping me heal and transform to be the best I possibly can.”
Please consider making a regular contribution to Four Square to help us continue our life-changing work at Keymoves.
Are you affected by any of these topics?
There is a range of support services in Edinburgh if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse.
